Sunday Haiku

Last week brought some light

Hope replacing the darkness

Believe and find peace

A passion returns

It's strange that four months without an income could light a fire on the inside. In a time that the stress of keeping a roof over one's head, food on one's table and a warm place to lay one's head is consuming, a spark has been lit. I think a big part of it is that people in a superior position broke down my self confidence, self esteem and self worth. It's hard, if not impossible, to believe in anything else if you don't believe in yourself. When I quit my job in September, I didn't believe in myself. I didn't believe I had any worth, any value to anything or anyone.

But about a week or two ago, I started to believe in myself. I started to believe that I had value and worth to the world. I started to believe I could contribute positively to society. I watch golf on TV now and look forward to working on my game again... not just playing because it's something to do. I'm following the election cycle again... and will ultimately get actively involved in helping President Obama get re-elected. For some reason, I'll get off the sidelines and back into the game... not just playing because it's my job but because I want to. No promises... but that may even mean a return to blogging.

I think there are some changes I've made that have helped to get me to this place.... and I'll elaborate more on those in time. But in short, I'm feeling better about myself and believe that although I don't have a job quite yet that I'm on a path and that will ultimately lead me to where I am supposed to be. One step at a time.

There are no answers.... only more questions.

Facebook Quotes

"SEC football: strength of schedule matters, until it doesn't; home losses matter, until they don't."
- Dwight Sproull

"Makes sense to me: LSU has to beat Alabama TWICE to win the national championship, but Alabama only has to beat LSU ONCE."
- Stephen Thornton

Bowl Predictions - Actual & (Predicted)

Actual & (Predicted)

BCS Title Game: LSU/Alabama (LSU/Alabama)

BCS Rose: Oregon/Wisconsin (Oregon/Wisconsin)
BCS Orange: Clemson/W.Virginia (Clemson/W.Virginia)
BCS Sugar: Virginia Tech/Michigan (TCU/Michigan)
BCS Fiesta: Okla.State/Stanford (Okla.State/Stanford)

New Mexico: Wyoming/Temple (Wyoming/W.Michigan)

Idaho Potato: Ohio/Utah State (Toledo/Louisiana Tech)

New Orleans:La-Lafayette/San Diego State (La-Lafayette/Marshall)

Beef O'Brady's: Florida Int'l/Marshall (Florida Int'l/Pitt)
Poinsetta: Louisiana Tech/TCU (Nevada/Boise State)
Las Vegas: Arizona State/Boise State (Washington/S.Diego St.)
Hawai'i: Nevada/Southern Miss (Utah State/SMU)
Independence: North Carolina/Missouri (NC State/Northwestern)
Little Caesars: Purdue/W.Michigan (Purdue/No. Illinois)
Belk Bowl: NC State/Louisville (No.Carolina/Cincinnati)
Military: Air Force/Toledo (Air Force/Wake Forest)
Holiday: Texas/California (Texas/California)
Champs Sports: Fla.State/Notre Dame (Fla.State/Notre Dame)
Alamo: Baylor/Washington (Kansas State/Utah)
Armed Forces: BYU/Tulsa (BYU/Tulsa)
Pinstripe: Iowa State/Rutgers (Missouri/Rutgers)
Music City: Wake Forest/Miss State (Virginia/Vanderbilt)
Insight: Iowa/Oklahoma (Nebraska/Baylor)
Texas: Northwestern/Texas A&M (Iowa/Texas A&M)
Sun: Georgia Tech/Utah (Georgia Tech/Arizona State)
Liberty: Vanderbilt/Cincinnati (Miss State/Southern Miss)
Kraft Fight Hunger: Illinois/UCLA (Iowa State/UCLA)
Chick Fil-A: Virginia/Auburn (Virginia Tech/Auburn)
TicketCity: Penn State/Houston (Illinois/Houston)
Capital One: Nebraska/South Carolina (Michigan State/South Carolina)
Gator: Ohio State/Florida (Ohio State/Florida)
Outback: Michigan State/Georgia (Penn State/Georgia)
Cotton: Kansas State/Arkansas (Oklahoma/Arkansas)
BBVA Compass: Pittsburgh/SMU (Louisville/Temple)
GoDaddy.com: No.Illinois/Arkansas State (Ohio/Arkansas State)

Power Rankings - December 4th

4-Dec			W	L	Pct.	PTS
1	SEC	LSU	13	0	1.000	167.883
2	SEC	Alabama	11	1	0.917	156.752
3	MWC	Boise State	11	1	0.917	153.985
4	BIG12	Oklahoma State	11	1	0.917	151.529
5	BIG10	Wisconsin	11	2	0.846	149.284
6	BIG10	Michigan	10	2	0.833	148.669
7	ACC	Virginia Tech	11	2	0.846	146.765
8	PAC12	Oregon	11	2	0.846	146.322
9	PAC12	Stanford	11	1	0.917	145.348
10	CUSA	Houston	12	1	0.923	144.743
11	MWC	TCU	10	2	0.833	140.903
12	SEC	South Carolina	10	2	0.833	140.621
13	CUSA	Southern Miss	11	2	0.846	138.919
14	SEC	Arkansas	10	2	0.833	138.915
15	BIG12	Oklahoma	9	3	0.750	138.079
16	SEC	Georgia	10	3	0.769	138.043
17	PAC12	USC	10	2	0.833	137.873
18	BIG12	Kansas State	10	2	0.833	135.316
19	BIG10	Michigan State	10	3	0.769	133.941
20	ACC	Clemson	10	3	0.769	132.325
21	BIG10	Nebraska	9	3	0.750	132.183
22	SUN	Arkansas State	10	2	0.833	128.204
23	BIG10	Penn State	9	3	0.750	125.839
24	BIG12	Baylor	9	3	0.750	124.580
25	EAST	West Virginia	9	3	0.750	123.892

December 1st

Today’s the two year anniversary of moving to the frozen tundra that is Bemidji, Minnesota. In fact, this December 1st is a lot like December 1, 2009. Winter was making its arrival, checking in at a chilly 18-degrees, but with little to no snow on the ground. I wasn’t sure what to expect of the future, living in a new place with a daunting new project and no people here that I knew all that well. It was a time of uncertainty, a time of questioning, a time of doubt.

Fast forward to day… and it’s a time of uncertainty, a time of questioning, a time of doubt. While 2009 had a clear focus and a vision of what the future would look like; 12/1/11 doesn’t offer that same amount of comfort. I knew I had to hire a staff, and knew the kind of people I wanted to work with me. I knew I had to schedule a facility, and knew the kind of events I thought would be successful in the community. I knew how the facility would look when construction was completed, and knew how I wanted it to look and be perceived on opening day.

Today I don’t know where I’ll be living in the near future. Today I don’t know where (or if) I’ll be working in the near future. Today I don’t know if my 15 years of hard work have been thrown down the toilet or if they’ll be attractive to any of the 25+ hiring managers who have been reviewing them. Today I am unsure of a lot of things and have doubts that something good will come from the decision I made now two months ago.

2009 had a great deal of promise; and for the most part I feel many of those expectations materialized and turned into something good. 2011 has the “potential” for promise. There are many commonalities between these two December 1st's… but the difference is hope. 2009 had plenty of excitement and hope for the future, 2011 right now does not.